4:20pm September 30, 2014
2:51pm September 29, 2014


i dont think my friends understand. when i say my room is messy i dont mean “cute” messy where i have a jacket hanging here and there i mean messy as in fuckin trash island where garbage citizens hold elections over who will become the next trash overlord it’s fuckin gross

The problem there is you let your room get trashy enough for the garbage to demand and hold elections. My room may be messy - but I never let it get to the point in time where they demand elections. I send the trash-can police in and “eliminate” the citizens that might demand elections - and they are then sentenced (in a kangaroo court) to life exile in the dump. Long story short: Eliminate the prominent citizens before the garbage citizens decide to vote you out.

1:27pm September 27, 2014


Old Spice what the fuck

It is a soap. This tells us it smells like watermelon, and that it washes away the smell and “dirtiness” of vigorous exercise, in this case: basketball. You can’t smell through the TV/computer so it must show/tell it to you by using surrealist metaphor.

2:28pm September 26, 2014



walking into the wrong class




Well he did walk into the wrong class, at bird school, which is for birds.

8:30am September 26, 2014
  • Parents: [child] what does a kitty-cat say?
  • Child: meow
  • Parents: good! What does a bird say?
  • Child: tweet tweet
  • Parents: good! What does the fox say?
  • Child: Isn't this joke a little over done?
9:26pm September 25, 2014

OH MY WORD! TUMBLR DID A THING AND IT’S WONDERFUL! I have porn blogs following me… They are no longer listed on my list of followers; even though they still follow me and still are counted in the total number of followers.

8:30am September 25, 2014
10:44pm September 24, 2014
I don’t understand the sentence, the reference, or half the words used, or why such an image is a good reaction to such of a reference the sentence refers to. I’m officially old.

I don’t understand the sentence, the reference, or half the words used, or why such an image is a good reaction to such of a reference the sentence refers to. I’m officially old.

10:00pm September 24, 2014

Bad (but accurate (somehow)) rundown of Skyrim’s plot

You are in the roman empire (with dragons!), specifically a part of the empire that is trying to become independent from the roman empire. Why? Well the Romans lost a war against the Persians and the Persians (as part of the peace treaty) outlawed the worship of Augustus Caesar. Who are you? You are basically Jesus (so why do you care if they worship Augustus or not); a messiah figure that was long ago prophesied to defeat the evil. Eh no one thought the evil existed anymore, so stopped believing Jesus was going to defeat an evil that doesn’t exist anymore. So you are about to be executed for a crime (that you didn’t commit) and then BOOM! Anti-Christ shows up trying to kill you. He doesn’t. Suddenly everyone knows the evil exists (but some still deny it) and the Anti-Christ is reviving all of the fallen followers of Evil. You must defeat the followers of evil, get more powers to perform more “miracles”, and defeat the anti-Christ. Oh, and solve the little civil war going on at the same time about the worship of Augustus Caesar.

8:21pm September 24, 2014


ever get that feeling like someone is trying to steal your friends? ..oh its just me?…how can they steal what i dont have? DX *cuddles cat* kbye gaaahh

Well, among other thing, you are acting as if friends are a finite resource. Friends are like love; you can have unlimited amounts of both. They are also similar in the light that people can only handle so many friends or loves at one time. If you friends are already at their invisible “friend limit” and someone else is attempting to become their friend then you would have to be the weakest friend (theoretically) for them to “dump” you in favor of this “new” friend. So no real worries, alright?

7:56pm September 24, 2014

Something pessimistic, but somehow optimistic and uplifting?

Look to the bright side, someday all the people making your life hard today will be dead.

3:36pm September 23, 2014

If I had a dollar for every time someone called me an evil capitalist I’d have enough money to have workers to exploit.

10:10pm September 22, 2014

I have a feeling some of the notes that are on my original posts comes from CSA agents 1 seeing it as part of their job and then 2 going onto their own Tumblr and finding the post to either like and/or reblog it

9:55am September 22, 2014

I’m not too sexy, my freedoms are somewhat limited, but I am single darnit.

12:11am September 22, 2014

I may have called someone whom didn’t want me thinking they are weird “weird” by saying whatever they wanted to say to me wouldn’t make me think they are “weird”… I… I may have messed up a bit here. Well everyone is weird you know? But in their own ways (most of em anyway). And the ones that don’t seem weird? They’re so rare their lack of weirdness is what makes them weird. Weird how that all works huh?